From the Media Capital, to the Global Ethiopian Community
Saturday October 16th 2021

“I Don’t Want No Shy Guy”

Picture this:

You are having coffee at an undisclosed location and you notice an attractive man checking you out from across the room.  You shoot him a smile and nod your head as if to say, ‘yeah…I’m digging you.’  Immediately after you do this, he quickly turns his head and buries it in the paper.  After some time has gone by and you finish your coffee, you get up to throw your garbage away and you notice that the attractive man is still looking at you.  As you make your way outside of the coffee shop, you shoot him another flirtatious smile and again he immediately looks at the paper. Annoyed, you walk out.

This scenario has happened much too often and häbäsha (Ethiopian) women across the country have become the victims of eye-catching men who are just plain shy. Typically, the average häbäsha woman will just let it go and is left to wonder to herself what could have happened if that shy guy would have approached her.  Could it have worked out? All the endless possibilities race through her mind.

If you are a häbäsha woman, then chances are you have encountered shy men more than the ones who are sociable.  The shy guy could be the one who sits at the back of the church and goes straight home afterwards, or he could be the one you spot at social events and keeps to himself.  What happens when you get romantically involved with that great looking guy who happens to be shy as well?  Can a woman actually take efforts to make her significant other more confident and aggressive? While we are not proposing the idea of changing a person, we are, however, hoping to ease the load (just a tad-bit) for any woman who is dating that shy guy.

Although it can be frustrating to always be the live-wire in the relationship, believe it or not, there are some things that you can do at home that can combat shyness. Here are some tips designed by the team:

Schedule weekly sit-downs where he talks and you listen
Having some one-on-one time where he does all the talking, and you the listening will aid your relationship in two ways.  One, giving him more chances to speak (with no interruptions) will help him feel more comfortable in expressing himself.  Not only when he is with you, but in other situations also. Two, this will help you become a better listener.  That is something we all can improve on.

Have social gatherings at your place
Invite family and friends more often and have the shy guy become the host.  Now, you may not want to invite the entire family at first.  Start out with a couple of people and then increase the number of guests each time you have a gathering.  Having opportunities to host these events will give him more exposure to group scenes and will help him become more sociable in his everyday life.

Learn a dance together
Learn how to do a hip and happening dance with one another.  Become dance partners at home, and then take what you learned and show it off at a club of your liking.  Dancing is a fun way to increase confidence.

Become involved in the community
Sorry—but this one is designed strictly for our shy guy.  Having him take up a position in the board at church or in a local community group will help a great deal. This will increase his leadership skills while strengthening the tools he picked up from the tips mentioned earlier.  Doing this all on his own will also give him the chance to be more independent and not rely on you to bring out his social skills.

If all else fails, take a Public Speaking class
Enrolling in a Public Speaking class at a local community college maybe just the thing our shy guy needs if the above tips do not work.  Public Speaking class, taught professionally, can turn the most timid student into a more confident person who is secure in their skin.

Being romantically involved with a shy guy is not all bad; it can have its pluses as well. Think about it, shy guys have a sense of discipline in everything they do. Whether it is at school, work, or even play, they operate with respect.  Shy guys are more sincere, and typically stick around. You never have to wonder where they are because the shy guy is with you more times than he is not.  Shy guys are the ones are mothers introduce us to and frankly, mothers know best.

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